Empty thoughts and mutterings

Thursday, April 14, 2005

To let go or not to let go ?

This was the question that has been haunting me for the last few days. When V came up to me on a random evening and said, it's time you and R hand over responsibilities to somebody else. Had it been somebody other than V, I would have probably dismissed the notion. But V is as neutral as they come, and there couldn't possibly be any other intentions. I bombarded him with 500 questions for the next hour or so, about why R had to leave. As for me, I was resigned to the fact that I was going to leave and so the question of me staying did not arise. I was in denial about the fact that this organization could do well without R. She has without a doubt been the strength of this organization. This has been her biggest passion and she was not shy of showing it. It was hard to imagine an organization without her running it. I could come up with 100 different reasons for why R should stay. But none of these reasons stood ground when I started to think about why we should leave. It is extremely important that an organization not be dependent on one/two people. The longer the dependence continues, the harder it is for the organization to handle the departure of the people in question. While the impact of the departure will be felt for some time, it also opens the doors for fresh faces to come in and impart their identity to the organization.

I put this proposal (of stepping down) to R, and convinced her to do it. One side of me, feels like I've been merciless to have pulled this on her when she wasn't expecting it one bit. Another side of me, feels like, the right decision has been made and it's time to move on. I knew it was going to be hard for R to take this. Last night, when we were doing the hand off meeting, she surprised me by staying strong all meeting with no display of emotion. After the meeting, when I was lying on my bed, it sank in slowly. No more meetings, no more coffee sessions before the big event, no more phone chats with people I don't know convincing them to pay us for an advertisement in return, no more complaining about how people in the e-groups don't respond to e-mails, no more problem sorting and no more feeling of pure satisfaction at the end of the event. I could sense a tear trickling down my cheek.

Is this the right decision ? Did I screw up ? Only time will tell !!

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