It's a full circle!
An outside look at a social gathering (about 6-7 people) in a grad school atmosphere (desi gang) such as ours !
Guy 1: On center stage doing the talking for the most part of the meeting. The whole group looks to him for energy, and for the next comment. He is expected to deliver the goods every single time. I've been there.
Guy 2: Does the support role - shares the limelite with #1. Has no problems with #1 stealing the show. But has a lot to say himself, and says it without inhibition, at the right opportunity. I've been that guy.
Guy 3: Is the target of guys #1 and #2 and the whole group. Feels depressed about being in this situation, with no knowledge of how to express his anger/irritation. Is extremely scared that if he does react, it will be greeted with more laughter. Knows at the back of his mind, that on another day, another time, the roles might well be reversed. I've been that guy.
Guy 4: Represents the mob mentality. Knows well that he shouldn't say anything to get himself into trouble, or more fun for the group at his expense. Sympathises with #3 but with no intention of saving him from the evil clutches, because he realizes that saving #3 can only come at somebody else's expense and he doesn't want to be that guy. I've been this guy.
Guy 5: Totally uninterested in the group's activities. Didn't want to come in the first place, and all this empty lechcha is boring him no end. Waiting for an opportunity to slip out and carry on with his daily routine. I've been this guy.
Guy 6: A newcomer to the gang. Desperately wants to belong but does not know how. The gang has no interest to know about his activities. There's a lot he has to say, but stays quiet because he does not know what sort of reactions will be evoked. Ive been him.
I think it's important for everyone to realize that what goes around comes around ! If everyone had the power to "put himself/herself in the other person's shoes" the world would be such a nice place ! The example I just talked about, is probably limited to a social gathering of people our age. But the bigger concept can be extrapolated to several things in life !
Guy 1: On center stage doing the talking for the most part of the meeting. The whole group looks to him for energy, and for the next comment. He is expected to deliver the goods every single time. I've been there.
Guy 2: Does the support role - shares the limelite with #1. Has no problems with #1 stealing the show. But has a lot to say himself, and says it without inhibition, at the right opportunity. I've been that guy.
Guy 3: Is the target of guys #1 and #2 and the whole group. Feels depressed about being in this situation, with no knowledge of how to express his anger/irritation. Is extremely scared that if he does react, it will be greeted with more laughter. Knows at the back of his mind, that on another day, another time, the roles might well be reversed. I've been that guy.
Guy 4: Represents the mob mentality. Knows well that he shouldn't say anything to get himself into trouble, or more fun for the group at his expense. Sympathises with #3 but with no intention of saving him from the evil clutches, because he realizes that saving #3 can only come at somebody else's expense and he doesn't want to be that guy. I've been this guy.
Guy 5: Totally uninterested in the group's activities. Didn't want to come in the first place, and all this empty lechcha is boring him no end. Waiting for an opportunity to slip out and carry on with his daily routine. I've been this guy.
Guy 6: A newcomer to the gang. Desperately wants to belong but does not know how. The gang has no interest to know about his activities. There's a lot he has to say, but stays quiet because he does not know what sort of reactions will be evoked. Ive been him.
I think it's important for everyone to realize that what goes around comes around ! If everyone had the power to "put himself/herself in the other person's shoes" the world would be such a nice place ! The example I just talked about, is probably limited to a social gathering of people our age. But the bigger concept can be extrapolated to several things in life !
posted by dinesh at
4:56 PM
17 Comments:
indha areavilaye, "all in all alaguraja" na ellorkum therium..apper patta enna indha madhiri blog poda vechitingale da. LOL!
Anyways, I have been a witness to most of his roles..manytimes u fit better to all of them.
By
P B, at 11:46 AM
PB,
The writing was an effort to think about how one can relate to another. The example like I said was that of a social gathering...but the relevance I believe, is bigger than that !
By
dinesh, at 12:09 PM
You kind of stole this blog idea from my head. I just started writing something similar a few days back...but as the number of roles that I could think of kept increasing, I realized I could not characterize so many variations in one single post and still do justice to what I want to say. Must say, you have done a pretty good job of that.
By
RS, at 12:48 PM
Well written Dinesh, I truly believe everyone must have been one of those "guys" u described at one point or another...every role is special in its own way...
"Putting oneself in other's shoes" is really a very mature way to think...though tough to be reminded of it at times when it really matters...
-KP.
By
Anonymous, at 1:03 PM
"Scout, you never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view..until you climb into his skin and walk around in it."
- Atticus Finch to his daughter in "To kill a mockingbird"
Who would have thought Din had the wisdom of Atticus ;) JK..u had that ability more than many!
By
RTD2, at 1:55 PM
serious aa naan solla vanthatha PB solittaan, intha area all-in-all "azhagu"? raja nee thaane...
aanaalum PB kku intha LOL evan solikuduthaan nnu therilla, aaa oo nna ivaru loud a sirikkararaam....
i have always been a #3 or a #4 i believe...:(
By
Prabhu, at 2:28 PM
Rs - Thank you. If I had known you had the same ideas, I'd have let you write it. I am sure you'd have done more justice to the issue.
KP - I agree. One needs to be reminded time and again. The purpose of the post was to add to the consciousness of the already aware.
RT - I can't forget how you "reminded' me the one time and I wouldn't get convinced. You were right and I was wrong :)
Prabhu : Sorry, I made #2 with sundar and you in mind.
I remembered another song that summarized #1 really well. "Naal dhorum rasigan, paraatum kalaignan, kaavalgal enakilaye. Sogangal enakum nenjodu irukkum sirikkaadha naal illaye"
By
dinesh, at 6:04 PM
Dinesh,
I've been Persons 3,5 and 6. Of all that, 6 is the worst position to be in, at least as far as I am concerned.
But I guess you've written with something else also in mind?!
By
The Doodler, at 6:42 PM
Prabhu,
Public forum la thittadha da. Veetla vechi pesikalam la..see I am now #3
By
P B, at 6:51 PM
Ennamo Pongo !
Oru Payyan-o ponno-o Konjam Asada eruntha #3,#4,#5 ,#6 position-ku thalliduvail pola erukey ;) !!
Rama rama ...:))
~Vasu
By
Anonymous, at 10:24 PM
Interesting take. You are right that this pertains more to the friends circles in our age gp.
I do think that in events/situations beyond the college life, its hard to imagine a guy #3. When ppl are around with better halves or colleagues or friends 10-15 yrs older than you, people rarely target one another. That's never a role someone assumes. Hence no strict #1 or # 2 guys also. However, there is always someone who is smart, and has the stuff to come out convincing.
By
Sriram, at 7:06 AM
Sriram, you are right. When it's a non grad school atmosphere, the dynamics change. Though an exact comparison cannot be drawn, lessons learnt from one scenario can be used effectively in another !
By
dinesh, at 10:26 AM
Subha,
Avaa Avaa Kashtam Avaa Avaaalukku :)
Subbu,
It can happen to you in a completely different scenario. Say for eg. like leading a music troupe and co ordinating a show :) There you'd need your #1 skills !
By
dinesh, at 10:29 AM
may be some ppl take a position always not because thats what they are capable of but because thats the position they would like to be in! Makes sense?????
btw which position do you think generally take? Just curious!!
By
Venky Gopalan, at 7:58 PM
oops I left out the I in the last sentence....it should be which position do you think I generally take?
By
Venky Gopalan, at 7:59 PM
Venky,
Not always the case. Some positions are wanted, some others are just thrust on them. For eg. a #3 is not usually wanted. They just have to live with it.
Which position do you take ? It's hard to say..but in the "smokey mountain trip" gang, nobody ever gets to be anything else, before being a #3. I don't think we've been together consisttently in 1 group, for me to judge what position you take.
By
dinesh, at 7:09 AM
A good one
By
Anonymous, at 6:36 PM
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