Grad school memoirs II - The American accent

This is about a junior who was in his first 2 weeks in this country. Like anybody else, he was busy getting impressed by this country’s technological superiority. The long clean aisles in the grocery stores, sophisticated malls, vending machines, dust-free highways and so on. Some people get so over-awed that they start to believe anything that’s said to them. This guy was one such. And so, after one of our bi-weekly trips to the grocery store chain, we stopped outside to buy ourselves a soda from the vending machine.

Me: dei, theriyum ille ? Indha oor vending machine ellam semma technology da. Voice recognition activated..

Him: Appdiya ? (His lips and eye brows contorted in a way that indicated that he was impressed)

Me: Amaam. Kaasa pottuttu, enna venum nu sonnaa podhum, adhuve kuduthudum.

Him: Super machi. Kaasu kudu, naan pottu paakkaren

(takes the money from me and inserts it into the $ slot)

Me: Pakkathla poi sollu da enna venumo

He goes near the machine and whispers “coke”. It was hard for some of us to control our giggles. But our man here, was so involved with talking to a vending machine, that he didn’t notice our giggles.

Him: Enna machi, onnume vara mattengudhu

Me: Kaththi sollu machi. Appa dhaan clear a recognize pannum.

So he goes closer and shouts “COKE” …

Still nothing.

Me: Nee Indian accent la solra da. Indha oor kaaranunga enna azhaga solraanunga, Andha maadhiri sollu da. Indha oor accent podu man, come on…

Him: Goes closer and shouts “Cawke” …..Nothing !

Me: Oru 3-4 times solli paaru machi.

Him “Cawke……Cawke………..Cawke………..Cawke”

He turns around and the rest of us are on the ground laughing our guts out ! :)